Peter Times! Sometimes!

Another day is gonna pass

Without a word spoken Alas!

Am keeping my fingers crossed

Hoping only to be endorsed

By the la Bella dame sans mercy

In the beautiful dream of events I foresee

In the curfew of thoughts

Amidst the multiple whats...

With my eyes and dozes far apart

I cling to her like a pin on the dart!

PS: Audience.... I solicit your patience and utmost tolerance on this post :-) Thanks for putting up with me all these years...

வாழ்க்கை

அலை அடித்து துவைத்ததில் சாயம் போயிருக்கிறது என் சட்டை!

கறையில் நிற்பவர்கள் சிரிக்கிறார்கள்....

கையில் ஸமோஸாவுடன்!

என் உள்ளங்கையில் இருக்கிப் பிடித்திருக்கிறேன்

இரண்டு முத்துக்களை!

கொஞ்ச நேர பெருமைக்குப் பின் பசி எடுக்க - இதோ...

முத்துக்களை விற்று ஸமோஸா வாங்கப் பொகிறேன்

அங்கேச் சிரித்துக் கொண்டிருப்பவர்கள்...

எதனை விற்று ஸமோஸா வாங்கினார்கள் என்று எனக்குத் தெரியாது!

Being Emotional!

This is going to be partially a justification, partially psychological, partially philosophical but completely sensible! Have you ever been tagged emotional by your fellow beings? colleagues and relatives? Are you the most aggressive person in your group? Do you tend to erupt when someone kindle you? Fine! You are emotionally imbalanced then. Because you don't have a good control over your temperament. You are turbulent. So what do I advise you to do? Feel ashamed and kill yourself! Does it benefit others? May be yes! Does it make a difference to you? Definitely yes? Because you aren't what you are anymore? Is this change necessary? Yes. It's mandatory!

Can we stop talking crap?

What do you achieve by controlling your emotions? A Fake smile, some false friends, a number of volatile fans and finally millions and millions of dead cells on your head, face and eyes!

What do I achieve by letting out anger? Peace, true friends, focus, sometimes justice and only a hundreds of dead cells on my eyes and fore head. No further killing.

What is imbalance? Is this not a relative term? If there is abnormality what do you call normal? Who sets the bench mark? Society? Individuals? Economists? Psychologists?

What is the measure to calculate imbalance? Can anyone explain?

I don't have answers for all the questions. I am not very optimistic about staying cool. You aren't a piece of sink after all. If you're one, you are junk.

Speak your thoughts, display your emotions, spread the attitude and be unique. Be yourself. Masking secures identity and it's good only on computers.

Of course have morality and ethics. Definitely everybody deserve respect. Letting out anger isn't a sign of disrespect or insult. Communicating your disappointment comforts you to large extent than keeping it with in you.

After all life is short. Why do you need a mask? Why shouldn't you have a rigid shape?

Ego is the unique you. Don't pretend to have lost it. Modesty is not the best policy but honesty is.

Laugh and dance on your success!

Sing and shout when excited

Cuddle and cry when defeated

Display anger and boil on dismay

Stand up, stay unique, spread attitude and be yourself!

Being emotional is not stupidity. It's being genuine. I am not bothered to be angry as long as I make sense. Does it make sense? You should have quit long time back if it was non-sense :-)

Bottom Line: Managers are assertive! Leaders are aggressive! I choose to be a leader.

Because ... Leaders sacrifice themselves for their people and principles while managers sacrifice people and principle for business

தோழமை

நீ நிராகரித்துக் கொண்டே இருப்பதும்

நான் புரிந்து கொண்டே இருப்பதும்

என்னைக் கொன்று தெய்வம் வளர்க்குமாம்!

நானே இல்லையென்றான பொழுது

யாருக்காக இந்தக் கடவுளை

நான் ஸ்ரிஷ்டிக்க வெண்டும்?

What To Name it?

It's 07:30 PM Friday Night. Rain played a spoil sport... So no cricket today. I am skipping dinner too. I don't feel like eating. I am not in a mood to write. But something is pushing me...

There had been times when I was obsessed with browsing. That was when I had a dial up connection at home and Internet access was restricted. Mom was trying hard to save money on phone bills. 54Mbps has made a huge difference. I don't care to browse anymore. There had been times when I used to fight with my brother on a packet of lays. The classic lays family pack on the top of the refrigerator at my home is already heading towards expiry. There had been times when I used to steal few cashews that mom used keep in a safe place at home. She would have bought it for some upcoming festival. I have half a kg of cashew lying untouched for months in my kitchen shelf now.

Does it convey something?

To me it does. When things are rare, they become special. When things open to abundant access, they fail to attract. Rather I don't care. Linking this back to the management principle, if there is too much demand, the value goes up. Quality is secondary. If the supply is huge, the value goes down. Again Quality becomes secondary.

When a product opens up to a huge demand, there is this initial craze. The value goes up. The excited producers produce more dreaming of larger profits. As the seasons swing, the craze dies down. The value goes down. Finally the producers go down. Premier Padmini of early 90s and LML Vespa are wonderful examples. Don't forget to consider the competitors around. They are significant in the product life cycle. In most cases they made the others fall. And their fall is inevitable too. Unless they upgrade, strategize and stay fit.

I have always compared this to relationships. When love and care is available in abundance, they get noticed initially. People go gaga over the relationship. After a while, the respect dies down. Again please owe this to the competitors with better strategy around. :-)

But if you closely notice, my dad and mom have always loved me with abundance. And some thickest friends too. 25 years and still going strong. Like the "New Britania" and the "new Colgate". :-) Though they were shadowed by glossy competitors at times, they have never died. The glossy competitors did.

I am not driving towards any valuable conclusion. In this column I have just decided to pen down my flow of thoughts.

Materialism and materialistic relationships die. Rather they get replaced. Now please don't argue that Britania and Colgate are a part of materialistic life too. :-) Just listen or quit!

The impact my past relationships had on me were significant.

I don't care to bother if something slips. As long as my family and friends stay, I stay.

There had been testing times. There are testing times and there will be testing times. I just say to myself "This too shall pass" (இதுவும் கடந்து போகும்)

Telling this had been easier. Making it happen was a challenge. But not anymore. When few things broke, there had been times

I didn't know the reason

and then

I didn't want to know the reason

and then

I never knew the reason :-)

In business "Reasons" never count, Only "Results" does!

PS: My first blog without a draft, without a reference to a dictionary and without a pause to think.

Allies in Wonderland - Part II

Part 1 is here

It’s going to be daunting task. I know. My master has instructed me to walk you through the heaven while he could just follow me enjoying it’s elegance.

In all probabilities the place is magical and captivating on it’s own and my words will soon be a lost drop of water in the Volcano :-)

“We have to run the entire day with just 2 cameras and a handy cam. Don’t waste the battery. We have a lot to cover. Restrict the usage only on astonishing scenes”. The instructions were ultra clear.

The heavy motor GMC vehicle slowed down as we approached the West entrance barricade of the wonderland. An old forest officer was at the check post. He welcomed our crew with a warm smile and was enquiring about our plans. A week’s pass should work the best for you, he told. And it’s 25$. Per entrant? No…. For everyone put together. Now that’s astonishing. But we didn’t capture it on our cameras. :)

We never knew that the admittance to eternity was so economical. Fair fare isn’t it?

Just 2 minutes into the arms of mother earth, we were bound by her grace and altruistic, affectionate hug. “Restrict the usage only on astonishing scenes!”. The master’s handy cam opened it’s lenses without a second thought. And so did we.

Coniferous trees, tall distant mountains with a snow cap (sulfur cap?), beautiful sky, mild breeze and fantastic driver. What more can you ask for?

“Men may come and men may go but I go on forever…” sang the little rivulet as it came along with us to guide us through the park (forest?), trying to prove it’s immortality. You aren’t invincible too I thought. Another 100 years, you might be under a sky scrapper. Oh! Did I miss something here? Do you still exist that way? Just like God… ? For people who believe only in obvious but fail to realize the depth of truth? Now don’t think too much and relish the excellence of nature. I told myself.

We stopped, took some snaps and started once again.

As we moved further into her broad arms, we realized that mother earth is not so peaceful always. She was turbulent too at times. She was furiously fuming at a few who played with her patience over the years. But she was fuming helplessly at a wrong place for injustice met to her at various other places. The sad part is, many of her own children are the culprits. The saddest part is, not so many knows that she is furious.

Wait… wait… wait… I wanted to convey something else and I am deviating… please disregard the previous passage…!

Well! That was a sight to watch…

Greeneries on one side and fuming sulfur on the other. Was that really sulfur? I was asking HM. Obviously he should be knowing Chemistry and geography. ;-)

I was also thinking about the “KoLLivaai pisaasugaL” of ancient Tamil Nadu. He was thinking too, about my question on the composition of the fuming land…

And even before he could answer, I got it… The rotten egg smelling gas evolved and I knew from my little education that it was hydrogen sulfide. :-)

Jai pulled over the vehicle and we halted. We started to move on the trail discussing multiple things… The project was gearing up towards execution….

The journey will continue…..

தமிழுக்கு வந்தத் தலைவலி - பாகம் 2

அப்பொழுது நாங்கள் எட்டாவது படித்துக்கொண்டிருந்தோம். அதிக அளவில் தமிழ் சினிமா பார்க்க வாய்ப்பு கிடைத்தப் பருவம். அப்பாவின் தோள்களை எட்டும் நாள் தூரத்தில் இல்லாத தைரியம். சினிமாவுக்கு நெருக்கமான காதல் எங்களுக்கு விருப்பமானது இப்பொழுது நினைக்கையில் இயல்பென்றே தோன்றுகிறது.

ஆளுக்கு ஒரு நாயகி தேடுவோம். பின்பு ஆட்டமும் பாட்டமும் குறைவின்றி குதூகலிப்போம். வில்லன்களை விரட்டுவோம். மனதில் நினைத்த மங்கையை மாலையிட்டு மகிழ்வோம். பெற்றோர் தடுத்தால் போராடுவோம். முடியாமற்போனால் முறித்துக்கொள்வோம் உறவை....... பெற்றோருடன்!

இதுவேப் பள்ளியில் பலரது ஸித்தாந்தம்.

என்னுடையது இதிலிருந்து சிறிது மாறுபட்டது. வேறொரு சமையம் சொல்கிறேன்.

அந்தப் பெண் எங்களுக்கு இரண்டு வயது இளையவள். சற்றுமுன் பூத்த வெளிர் அரளியின் நிறம். எப்பொழுதும் தித்திப்பான புன்னகையைத் தாங்கி வரும் அதிமதுரம் அவளதரம்! அந்தக் கன்னங்கள்..........நிற்க! அவள் நண்பனின் காதலி! :-)
வர்ணணை முற்றிற்று!

நண்பர்களுக்குக் காதல் வரிகள் தேடித்தருவதில் தான் எத்தனைப் பெருமை. இவர்களின் காதல் தான் எத்தனை புனிதம். அன்று தான் பாரதி காதல் கவிஞனாய் எனக்கு அறிமுகமானான்.

(அதே) நண்பனின் (அதே)காதலி பள்ளி விழாவில் நடனமாட, ஒத்திகையின் போது யாரோ ஏதோ கொடுஞ்சொல் கூறியதன் பொருட்டு அழுது கொண்டே அன்று ஒத்திகை பார்த்ததும், அதை சிறிதும் பொருக்கவியலாத காதல் நெஞ்சன், என்னுயிர் நண்பன் மேடையின் கீழே நின்றுக் கண்ணீர் மல்க உறுகியதும், காலத்தால் அழியாத காவியம்.

அருகிலிருந்த நான்

"உன் கண்ணில் நீர் வழிந்தால் என் நெஞ்சில் உதிரம் கொட்டுதடி"

என்று பாடி கண்ணடிக்க, இரண்டு மணி நேரம் அவன் அதையே உச்சறித்துக் கொண்டிருந்தது வேடிக்கை.

மேடையில் ஒலித்துக் கொண்டிருந்த "செந்தமிழ் நாடெனும் போதினிலே!" எங்களுக்கு அந்நியமானது இயற்கை தானே? :-)

இப்பொழுது பாரதியும் என் பக்கம். :-) நான் இயற்கையை பாடவில்லை என்று வருந்த யாருமில்லை. காதல் இயற்கை, காதல் மட்டுமே இயற்கை, மற்றவை அவற்றின் பிம்பம். காதலின்றி நிலவு கசக்கும், வானம் கருக்கும், மழை எரிக்கும், மலர்கள் ??? பயனிழக்கும். சரிதானே? ;-)

தொடர்வேன்!

Part1

Guest Post

Hi! I am Harini, Seshu's sort of second cousin and i love writing. So when he asked me if i could put up a guest post in his blog, i jumped at the chance. Here it is! Its called GARBAGE.


He sat in his usual corner, lost in thought, what ran in his mind, she had no idea. It had to be about the various problems that they plagued him with. "I wonder how he manages all this. Must be really difficult to be someone so important. He has so much to do and so little time to live. Poor thing" She thought to herself as she finished cleaning his room and went to another. She saw the waiter taking out an untouched meal and wondered when and what he ate. All the plates that he ordered went back to the kitchen or to the dustbin.

Working in a hotel had its advantages. She got to see a lot of famous people often and they really tipped her well. She really preferred it to houses where there were too many people and too much of work. The pay was much better here. She was like another part of the background, like the TV or the fridge in the room.

The guy in room 204 had taken it up almost a month ago. He paid the high rent and stayed there cooped up within it not coming out except to buy something once a day. She guessed what it might be. Afterall, she cleared their garbage everyday. A syringe once a week can be attributed to a medicines or the visit of a doctor. But a syringe everyday told a different story,. She was used to the going on of the rich and the unhappy. Sorrow was something all classes could identify and sympathise with, without any introduction.Such a young man too. He had his future in front of him and here he was locking himself up and wasting it away.

Room 257, now that was a different story. A week here with his very beautiful wife and there he was sitting and sulking all the time. Poor thing. She must have a tough time living with an ugly bloke like him. The way he carried himself and screamed at her for everything. Will all the expensive jewelry she wore compensate for that? Mascara can hide black eyes and enough carefully applied make up can mask her scars.The garbage was filled with wet tissues and blood stained wads of cotton.It saddened her to see it. But how did anything she feel matter? It was all a matter of choice and people made such strange choices sometimes. She thought of her dead husband. Sometimes, she wished he was alive.

This week, the toughest room to clean had been 351. There was a family staying there for their vacation. The chocolate stains on the floor were so difficult to remove. The brats seemed to attract and hoard insects of all sorts. The anaemic mother looked like she could very well do with some rest. The father spent all his time transacting deals on the phone. Soft drink cans, Chocolate wrappers, Lays chips packets,Biscuit tins told her the story of their food habits. Her children had never even had a piece of these things which these kids seemed to consume by the dozen all day.There they were whining again wanting more. They were sick in bed today because of a tummy ache and they still wanted more food!She was surprised

Her final room for the day. She always did it last the past week as the owners were asleep all morning. She wondered why they came to such a beautiful place for a vacation. All they did was hang around in the room surrounding themselves with luxuries of all sort, sitting glued to the television watching updates. The girl ate and vomitted everything she did as she wanted to remain thin. There was some fancy name for this disease, the cook had told her. The empty medicine sashets in the garbage bin were disposed off too easily

Her day done, she went to wait in the bus stand for her bus. She saw a packet of lays in the shop nearby. Little Minnie's voice echoed in her head. "Amma, I saw the anna in the poster with a big packet in his hand." She did not ask her for it. But the longing in her voice conveyed enough.Her inability to give them three meals a day told much more than what a few words could and she had very practical children. She went up to the shop and got a packet of the chips. "Let her feel nice atleast for a day" she told herself and walked the three kilometres home to be greeted by a weeping daughter. "Priya is dead amma. They said she had died as she dint have anything to eat." The lays packet lay unnoticed in the room. She hugged her daughter unable to console her.Somehow the image of the children who lay moaning in pain from over eating wouldnt disappear from her eyes. "She will forget her soon enough. Then everything will be fine. Nothing lasts forever. Not even this pain." She told herself. Afterall,a 25 year old widow of an early marriage knows best.In the home of the cleaning woman, there was nothing to clean.They did not have anything to throw away. Their garbage had only the tale of poverty to say.

For those of you who want to read more of what i write, i can be reached here: http://dreamsgoon.blogspot.com

தமிழுக்கு வந்த தலைவலி! - பாகம் 1

"ஆங்கிலத்துக்கு நிகரான தமிழ் சொற்கள் அறிய இங்கு எழுதுங்கள்"
என்று அறிவிக்கின்றது மொழிபெயர்ப்பு இணையதளம்.ஆங்கில தட்டுப்பலகை தமிழருவியின் பாய்ச்சலை கொஞ்சம் கட்டுப்படுத்ததான் செய்கிறது. எழுத நினத்த தருணங்களெல்லாம் தமிழ் தட்டிப் பழகாத விரல்களின் வலியை எண்ணி வீணாய் கழிகின்றது! சில நேரங்களில் எழுதுபொருள் தரும் உந்துதல் தமிழ் பதிவு படைக்க உதவுகிறது. சிவகாமியின் சபதம் பற்றிய எனது கருத்துரை தமிழில் ஏன் இல்லை என்று கேட்டோருக்கான விடை கூட இதுதான். எனக்கு ஓரளவு ஆங்கிலம் தெரிந்திருப்பது தீதோ நன்றோ? தெரியாது.இந்தப் பதிவை தமிழில் புனைவதற்கான உந்துதல் எனது கவிதைகள். இன்றளவும் எனக்கு படித்தவரோடும் பண்பட்டவரோடும் கலந்துரையாடும் வாய்ப்பினைப் பெற்றுத் தருபவை அவைகள் தாம்.

எனது கவிதை அனுபவங்களைப் பற்றிய இந்தப் பதிவினை பல பாகங்களாக எழுத எத்தனித்துள்ளேன். எனது வாழ்வின் ஸ்வாரஸ்யமுள்ள பல சம்பவங்களோடு எனது கவிதைகளுக்கு நெருங்கிய தொடர்பு உண்டு. ஒன்பதாம் வகுப்பின் ஒரு நவம்பர் மாதத்து மேகம் மூடிய மாலைப் பொழுதின் கடைசி பாடவேளையை தவிற்க அன்று நடந்த தமிழ் கவிதை போட்டிக்கு, இலக்கணம் அறியாத, கவிதை வாஸம் சிறுதுமில்லாத ஒரு ஞானஸூன்யமாகிய நான் சென்றது கடுங்குற்றமென்றால் அந்த ஆண்டின் மேநிலைப் பிரிவின் தலைசிறந்த கவிஞனாக என்னை தேர்ந்தெடுத்து அறிவித்தது எனது பள்ளி செய்த பெருங்குற்றம். அந்த பாவத்தின் பலனைத் தான் இன்றும் எனது தோழர்களும், தோழியரும், பெற்றவரும், கற்றவரும் பின் மற்றவரும் அனுபவித்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறார்கள்.

"இந்தக் காதல விட்டொழிக்கவே மாட்டியா?" பெரும்பாலான எனது கவிதைகளை படித்து விட்டு பெரும்பாலான ஆர்வலர்கள் அடிக்கடி எழுப்பும் கேள்வி. முயற்சி பண்றேங்க... என்று நான் சொல்வது எப்போதாவது தான் மெய்படுகிறது. அதன் பின் ஒரு பெருங்கதை உண்டென்பது சிலருக்கேத் தெரியும்.

"நீலவான ஆடைக்குள் உடல் மறைத்து
நிலவென்று காட்டுகின்றாய் ஒளிமுகத்தை
கோலம் முழுதும் காட்டிவிட்டால்
காதல் கொள்ளயிலே இவ்வுலகம் சாமோ?"

என்ற பாரதிதாசனின் பாடல் நிலவை என்றும் காதலோடும் காதலியோடும் ஒப்பிடவே எனக்கு கற்றுக் கொடுத்திருந்தது.

"என்னருமைக் காதலிக்கு நீ இளையவளா இல்லை மூத்தவளா?"

என்று நிலாவை வம்புக்கிழுத்த கண்ணதாசனும் என் இந்த போக்குக்கு உடந்தை.

என்னிடம் இயற்கையை பற்றிய ஒரு கவிதையைப் பெற்று விட எண்ணி, ஒன்றும் பிடிபடாமல், நிலவை வெகு நேரம் உற்று நோக்கிய பொழுது, பக்கத்தில் திடீரென்று தோன்றியது ஒரு அழகிய பெண்ணின் உருவம். அந்த கற்பனை பிம்பத்திடம் தான் இன்று கவிதை சொல்லியாக வேண்டும்.

"அதோ பார் கண்ணே.. இன்னுமோர் சந்திரோதயம்!
கொடுத்து வைத்த பூமிக்கு இன்று இரட்டை பௌர்ணமி"

என்று தோன்றிய இரண்டு வரிகள் நான் திருத்த முடியாத ஜன்மம் என்பதை ஒரக்க அறிவிப்பதாகத் தோன்றியது.

ஏன் இந்தக் கடிவாளம் கட்டிய குருகிய சிந்தனை..?

அடுத்தப் பதிவில்...

வடகிழக்குப் பருவ மழை!

காவிரி கரை தொடு
கொள்ளிடம் கட...
தஞ்சை பெருவயல் நன்செய் தங்கிடு
நெல் மணி குவி.. கன்னல் விளை!
கொள்முதலாளியின் கைப்பை கனக்கும்
மந்திரிமார்களின் நிலவறை சிரிக்கும்!
பெருமிதம் கொள் - அதன்முன்
பேதமைக் கொல்!
ஆக்கியவன் உலைக்கே சோறு இல்லையாம்...
அவன் சிசுவின் வயிற்றை நீராய் நிரப்பு!

The 20$ Bill

A Christmas eve in New York city should be exciting. Time square probably is the brightest junction in the world. Then that World’s tallest Christmas tree at rock feller? Another important place to pose in front of. I shall meet my best friend after a gap of 8 long months since I left India. That makes this trip all the more special. I shall go with him to the World’s most powerful capital, The Washington DC. I am going to be happy for the next 4 days. My heart was pounding with excitement as I waited at the Appleton airport for my flight to arrive at the gates. My excitement quickly changed into perturbation when the speaker announced a delay in flight due to pilot problems.


I have to reach New Jersey tonight. I was determined. The connecting flight at Detroit should be delayed too. I prayed. All my prayers went in vain. The last flight to New Jersey has already departed from Detroit. I waited in the long queue patiently for hours, explaining the situation to my friend on phone. I was provided a hotel room to stay for the night and got my flight tickets booked early in the morning to reach the La Guardia airport in New York. An overnight delay might mess up with the tour plan I thought. It will be almost afternoon when I reach there. And I have already missed the fun of Christmas eve. It ached.

After resolving an issue that my fellow passenger (a colleague) had, I reached the hotel room post midnight. The day broke and I was ready to get into the first shuttle to the airport. Wishing a merry Christmas to all the unknown faces in the hotel reception, with a warm smile, I got into the shuttle. Walk, walk and walk miles inside the Detroit airport and finally I was there at the terminal. A window seat should be mind blowing I thought. I can capture a few aerial photographs of the New York city. As the flight lands, I shall have the beautiful sky scrappers trapped in my eye piece. Fortunately it was one.

A charming cute child with a pink hat and coolers came dancing through the walk way of plane with her mother swiftly following up. As I looked into her eyes, I could see the innocence, anxiety, happiness and excitement. She is in all smiles. Should be 4 years old. Within minutes I understood that she will be my neighbor for the next 2 hours. Her activities bought in a great deal of nostalgia. I remembered how I used to crave for vacations and long hours journey. Meeting my cousins and going around places. Those were the best days of my life I thought.

Now there is a dilemma. I know how I used to fight for the window seat during my childhood. Why Childhood? I still do :-). The child in us is still awake. Even a while ago I was thinking about it. But now, a 4 year old will be happier to be there I thought. Even for me it’s the first time. I want to enjoy the beauty of the cities underneath as the flight flows through the sky. Should I still give it to her. She never asked for it but still, she would love it. I know. I could see that in her eyes. Finally I made up my mind. I am giving it to her this time. I can probably capture the sky scrappers from the ground and of course there is always this another time. But will I ever get a glimpse of that child’s beautiful smile again in my life time?

I started talking to her. She should be from Iraq, Arabia or may be India. The traditional Muslim costume that her mother wore indicated. I asked her to take the window seat and I got back what I expected. A million dollar smile :-)

She was so happy. That made me happier. I was talking to her mom too who was in her late thirties. Seemed to be a nice women. She was talking about my profession and my reason for traveling. About my family for sometime and then my education. I came to know that they belong to Punjab but have got settled in United states a few years ago. All the while the child was enjoying her window view. I realized the pleasure of sacrifice. As the drinks and snacks came in, I took the responsibility of helping the child drink and eat those.

After a nap, I again woke up to see her enlightened face. The flight was about to land. The following conversation took place between me and the child’s mom Ms. McSuda when she unexpectedly pulled out a 20$ bill from her wallet and gifted it to me.

McSuda: Please have this as my gift

Me: Not at all! Please… but Why?

McSuda: When you go back to India get something for your mom with this money

Me: No aunty.. I won’t take this. I shall convey your regards to her. That should do.

McSuda: Son! Listen to me… I know you are earning a lot probably more than we do. I know you are capable of getting your mom the best of things that are around. I am not giving this to you , because you don’t have it but I wanted to gift a mother who should be proud and happy to have yielded such a nice boy…

It’s a great thing to be a mother. You will not understand. :-)

Me: speechless!

She just smiled and requested me to take it.

I again objected. I told her, I just need her blessings and nothing else. She forced the 20$ note into my palm and wished me a long life and a successful career. I thanked her. That was my first ever Christmas gift. A Muslim presenting a Christmas gift to a Hindu on an auspicious day. I thought, above caste, creed, culture and religion, affection and humanity prevails. That Thursday was no less than the best days of my life.

The flight landed. The child departed happily waving her hands at me and I waved back with a gratified, peaceful and ecstatic heart. I still hold the 20$ note safe in my wallet and I shall gift my mom with something bought out of this.

True! If at all I am a little good, I owe it all to my parents. When I spoke to my mom, she was puzzled initially but when I explained, she just told I am good. I don’t know what made McSuda think that she should gift my mom. Probably it’s between mothers which I don‘t understand. :-)

I then reached my friends place and we had an excellent and tiring trip. It was fun. The capital house, white house, Washington monument, time square, the wall street, Brooklyn bridge, the empire state and the statue of liberty. And much more of this kind. But undoubtedly the 20$ bill still remained the best.

PS: The New York trip was an interesting one and had many awakening, comical, frustrating and tiring incidents. I shall write about those sometime.

காத்திருந்த காதல்!

மதம் ஜாதி ஜாதகம் கோத்திரம் இத்தனைக்கும் தாரைவார்த்த பின்...
சேர்த்து வைத்திருக்கிறேன்...உனக்கென கொஞ்சம் காதல்!
வெகு ஜலப் பிரவாகம் உனது முத்தம்...
அந்த ஊற்றில் பெருக்கெடுத்த பேராழி போல் என் காதல் இன்று...
மறுப்பதற்கில்லை கண்ணே!
சம்ஸாரம் சாகரம்!

The A^2 Syndrome - A Post to honor a great friend!

Crazy are the thoughts sometimes! Crazier the dreams are…

I meet my childhood friends, colleagues, well wishers, parents and relatives every night, one or many together at a time under incomprehensible circumstances only waking up in the morning to realize that it was but a dream. Sometimes it’s a total bizarre.

Even when conscious, I recall the golden days of my career life quite often to cherish the sweetest of happenings that are only a history now. The thoughts make me laugh, cry, emote, dance and sing but only within me. Probably I am totally jobless these days and hence giving too much to the past. I decided to introspect. Let me not discuss the results of self introspection here.

I deeply felt that one such retrospection should be written about. Before leaving India I went through a relatively tougher phase in my career. Nothing was working the right way for me. After a profound analysis I found that it’s “Time’s” time to play a spoil sport and I can do nothing about it J

Relationships have always been dangling in my case. I always believed that college is the ultimate place for a loyal, affectionate friendship and there is no such thing beyond that. Though many of my colleagues have proved me wrong by now, this one person was amazing.

She was known to me by name for few weeks then, by person a few days ago and she was there near me to listen to me and support me during my turbulent times right away. I neither requested her nor expected it from her. I thanked her for being so generous and she just smiled.

I don’t know. I keep my pathos to myself when I am dejected. I crib sometimes but it’s rare. There are 2 reasons. Cribbing doesn’t help. I don’t trust people easily.

But she looked deep into my eyes when I spoke to her. I could see honesty and empathy in her eyes. For hours I would talk about my plans and activities and hindrances and she would listen so sincerely and affectionately. It took a while for me to realize that I was self -centered and stole a lot of her time. She never complained. One morning, during a coffee break, I casually asked her why would she be so kind to me. Her reply was spontaneous.” What’s so important than spending some time to listen to a friend?”. Mine was a boring melancholy. I know. She told it never was. She told she could feel the agony, the anxiety, the passion and the pain. I was dumbstruck. She is a friend! A true friend for life …I told myself… My instincts are usually right.

I talk to her about my everyday activities so consistently and seek her advice on important things I do. She is still generous to lend her ears to me though she is working assiduously on her tasks. She proved me what difference, a friend can make to one’s life. Even an arrogant, level headed and emotionally balanced person crave for a friend to paddle out of trouble. I found one in her. It’s her character to help and support people. How noble? Am I not gifted? :-)

I have a bunch of treasure in the form of friends and she is a precious stone in the lot who would stay close to my heart.

"There is blessing in disguise when you undergo tougher times". You ascertain your friends and others hands down. I now realize how true this adage is.

PS: The title is still relevant to the post but not obvious.

உக்ரோதயம்

அத்தியாயம் 1
கிழக்கு கடற்கரை

கிழக்கு கடற்கரையின் பொன் மணற்பரப்பைப் பூரண சந்திரன் தனது வெள்ளிக் கிரணங்ளால் மிளிரச்செய்து கொண்டிருந்த மகோன்னதக் காட்சி கலையுணர்வென்பதே கிஞ்சித்தும் இல்லாத மூடனைக்கூட ஒரு கணம் கவிஞனனாய் மாற்றக் கூடியச் செழுமையை பெற்றிருந்தது! அடிவானில் முழுமதி உதயமான மருகணமே அவளின் கவின் கொஞ்சும் வதனத்தை தொட்டு விடலாம் என்ற இருமாப்பில் வழக்கத்தை விடவும் அதிகமாய் எழும்பி ஏமாற்றம் அடைந்த அலைகள் "ஓ!" என்ற இரைச்சலுடன் ஆற்பரித்து கொண்டிருந்தக் காட்சி மானிட வாழ்வின் எண்ண ஓட்டங்களை பல கோணங்கலில் பிரதிபலிப்பதாய் இருந்தது! சித்திரை மாதத்தின் தெளிந்த வான்வெளியில் மின்னிக் கொண்டிருந்த தாரகைகள் அந்தக் கடலலைகளைக் கண்டு நகைப்பதுப் போன்றேத் தோன்றிற்று! ஒருவேளை அவைகள் வெகு தொலைவில் இருந்ததனால் நமக்கு அந்தச் சிரிப்பொலி கேட்கவில்லை போலும்! இளவேனில் வெப்பத்துக்கு அருமருந்தாக அமைந்தது ஜில்லென்று வீசிக்கொண்டிருந்த சமுத்திரக் காற்று! கடற்கரைக்கு சற்று தொலைவில் இருந்த நெடிதுயர்ந்த சவுக்குத் தோப்புக்குள் ஊடுருவிச் சென்று அந்தக் காற்று கடலலைகளுக்கு போட்டியாக மற்றொரு ஓம்காரத்தை எழுப்பிக் கொண்டிருந்தது!

இந்த ஓவியக் காட்சியில் சிறுதும் லயிக்காது அந்த ஜனசஞ்சாரமற்ற இடத்தில் ஆழ்ந்த சிந்தனையில் மனதை நிலைக்க விட்டிருந்த அந்த இளைஞன் சொல்லவொண்ணா வேதனை அடைந்திருக்கிறான் என்பது அவன் முகத்தை பார்த்தால் ஐயமற விளங்கும். ஞாயிற்றின் ஒளியை தேக்கி வைத்திருந்த அந்த விழிகளை கூட ஏதோ ஒரு துன்பம் மேகம் போல் மூடி மங்கச் செய்திருந்த போதிலும் பார்வயில் தொனித்த கம்பீரம் சிறிதும் குறையாது, நெஞ்சுறுதியையும் நம்பிக்கையையும் எடுதுக்காட்டுவதாய் அமைந்திருந்தது.
இரவு நன்றாக ஏறிவிட்டதை அடுத்து மதுமதி உச்சி வானை அடைந்திருந்தாள். தொலைவில் தோப்புக்குள் ஊளையிடும் நரிகளும், மெதுவாய் ஸப்திக்காரம்பித்த ஸர்பங்களும் அந்த கடல் ப்ராந்தியததை ஆபத்தான களமாக அறிவிக்க முயற்ச்சி செய்துகொண்டிருந்தன! துணையின்றி அவ்விடம் நெடுநேரம் படுதிருந்த அந்த யொவன புருஷன் பெரும் ப்ராக்ரமசாலியாகத் தான் இருத்தல் வேண்டும். அச்சம் என்பதே எள்ளளவும் அறியாத குடியில் தோன்றியவனாய் இருத்தல் வேண்டும்!

காட்டாற்று வெள்ளம் போன்று உள்ளத்தில் பொங்கிய எண்ண அலைகளால் தனக்கு பின்னால் தன்னை ஓசையின்றி சூழ்ந்து கொண்டிருந்த ஆபத்தை கவனிக்கத் தவரியவன், மெல்ல எழுந்தமர்ந்து திரைக்கடலை நோக்கினான்!திடீரென்று ஏதோ அறியப்பெற்றவனாய் விடுக்கென்று எழுந்து சவுக்குத் தோப்பை நோக்கி நடக்கலானான். அவன் நடை போடத்தொடங்கிய மறுகணமே சவுக்குக் கிளைகள் பரபரப்படைந்தன. நரிகளின் ஓலத்தோடு மனிதர்களின் ஓசையும் மெல்லியக் காற்றில் கேட்க ஆரம்பித்தது. இத்தனைக்கும் அந்த வாலிபனுக்கு மட்டும் எதுவுமே செவியில் ஏறவில்லை போலும். தனது நடையை துரிதப் படுத்தினான்.

இந்த ஒரு தனிமனிதனை அந்த நள்ளிறவில் என்ன ஆபத்து சூழ நேரிடும்? ஒருவேளை கொள்ளையர்களாய் இருக்கலாம்.ஆனால் கொள்ளையற்க்கு ஆபரணம் தரிக்காத ஆண்மகனிடம் என்ன வேலை? ஒரு வேளை கொலைகாரர்களாய் கூட இருக்கலாம். ஒரு அப்பாவி இளைஞனை அந்த நடுநிசியில் மறைவில் காத்திருந்து கொலை செய்வதில் அவசியம் என்ன இருக்கிறது?
ஆனால் அந்த இளைஞன் ஒரு சாதாரண ப்ரஜையாய் அல்லாமல், அஸ்வத்தாமன் வழி வந்த பல்லவ குலத் தோன்றலான அவனிசிம்மன் என்னும் பட்சத்தில் அந்த அவசியம் ஏற்படுகிறதல்லவா?

... தொடரும்

I shall Blog!

It had been a while since I blogged. I am jealous of my fellow bloggers who blog quite consistently, interestingly and meticulously. I had been through few creative posts on net and most of them are inspiring. Short stories, history, scientific facts, interesting trivia, news updates, life updates, poems…. Wow!
Every time I come across a creative post, I would tell to myself… “I am blogging tonight”. There will be a topic that I would have zeroed on.
When I reach home in the evening, Srikkanth(my friend and head of my Appleton household) would be there already mostly. If it’s one of the early days of the week, Chinmayi would be screaming at the top of her voice “இது தமிழகத்தின் மிக ப்ரம்மாண்டமான குரல் தேடல்!”. As soon as I remove my shoes, “Renu செரியாப் பாடல!” he would say. “Oh! என்ன பாட்டு?”. This is me!
I will assure myself that she will not be rejected as she is the greatest voice of the show. I will mostly sit with him to watch the rest of the program.
Towards the end of the program, my eyes would beg for rest, as I would have slept only 4 or 5 hours the previous night. I don’t have work @ home these days. I am usually idle in the evenings. But I sleep very late, after compensating for the lost sleep back log from the previous night, waking up late to cook late while talking to my offshore folks and to finish my dinner late only again to sleep late. Lately this has been my routine. I talk to my mom on the camera late nights and on phone late mornings.

By then I would have totally forgot the topic I've decided upon. Rather I desperately forget it in order to keep me away from typing.

The following contents were partially composed and remain dormant in the blog memory space of my brain…

1) Sandilyan’s Raja muthirai
2) Kemo’s farewell
3) My old poems
4) The Lankan -Tamil war and the fall of de-facto capital Kilinochi
5) Washington trip (Actually supposed to be a trip to New York) :-)
6) A quick recap of 2008
7) the A^2 syndrome (A commitment that has to be kept up)
8) Childhood memories
9) Three years of Cognizance
10) Legendary compositions of Isaignani Ilayaraja

11) From Kanchipuram to Appleton

I am getting a topic everyday. But I don’t write! Laziness is killing the creator in me. I have decided to fix my routine this weekend. Things should start working quickly hopefully and I should take up full fledged writing whether or not I have followers to go through them :-)
You will see the above mentioned topics revised, revisited, prioritized and written about, in days to come.